Thanks

I know I should be grateful.

I should be grateful for being allowed to live the life I do, I should be grateful that I am allowed to be who I am but I can't.

I am grateful, however, to the people who have sacrificed their lives, time and even dignity for me to be who I am. I am forever grateful to the people who never even knew that I would exist and who have given me this incredible gift of being able to be who I am.

I am saddened by the fact that many did not get to experience this feeling that they fought, and some even died, for. That they fought and died for the right to be who they are.

I am not grateful that I get to be allowed to be who I am when so many didn't and still aren't. I will not show graditude to the people that tolerate me because they have to.

The only thing I will and can do is live my life proud and every day acknowledge that even though it should be it is not a given that I can.

I am not grateful to be able to mourn the people that I may and will never have the privilge to know. Who fought for my right to love but I am proud to be one of the people who can stand here today and live because of them.

I am not grateful that I get to wake up every day and wonder if I am next, if today will be the day that someone decides that who I am is not okay, that I am worth less than anyone else. I am not grateful for that.

But I will, every day, be happy, proud of and appreciate who I am for the millions of people who can't and know in my heart that I am equal, that I will act, think and vote for equal.

//Em

Kindness

Don't miss out on kindness. Allowing yourself to feel it and receive it.

Don't mistake greediness for kindness because it will ruin you.

Know who the people are that keep you going because they believe in you and end relations with the rest because in the end they won't matter anyway.

With power comes the chance for greatness but it is not a given result. It is a fight and determination and an incredible sense of resistance.

Unfortunately for "we the people" true greatness is rarely shown in our world leaders because the people aiming for power with heart do not always make it all the way with their hearts intact.

It is a given that the road to success is beyond hard and keeping a clear head is next to impossible but it can be done.

There are no studies to support my views, they are just observations and interpertations.

May it be foolish to even say this but it is true "with great power comes great responsibility". Maybe it's easier when the rule applies in fiction but it's sad that it does not reflect in the real world.

In a way the men and women (though rare) that rule our countries, our world, are supposed to be leaders, fair, equal and strong and protect our people, all of us. They are supposed to be superheroes.

Granted that values, religions, opinions and ideas vary but in the end is it really too much to ask of our world leaders to show us the way to kindness, to greatness and most importantly to respect? We will never evolve unless we work for it, unfortunately. All we really have do is ask ourselves: what if it were me? What if it were my friend, parent, sibling that the world has turned on for doing absolutely nothing but being themselves?

Would you still vote for a leader that wants them dead? Would you still ask your country to expose, hate, persecute, abuse or kill?

Power can lead to greatness but only if you truly want that. A great human being is not one who values some people's lives over other's. It is equality for all or none.

//Em

Moments

We build and we break, we bleed and sometimes we heal.
One moment.
Sometimes small and sometimes major.
One moment is all it takes for us to feel, to venture into things unknown, perhaps unheard of for us, for you.
There has been a lot of talk about when and where we are responsible, when it is on our hands; the blood, the tears, the pain... Hatred.
One moment is all it takes.
The question is, do you dare to turn your back? Do you dare to walk another way than all the others?
We build and we break and so the story goes.

Life is hard and painful, uneasy and unkind, it is never fair, never grateful nor understanding. It takes a lot of guts to be able to tell someone affected not to hate, to beg them to look beyond, "be the bigger man". Sometimes it is taken as an insult.
To imagine the pain is impossible, that is an insult I would never dare to speak. I do not understand, I could never. I only understand what I know and no one else. Maybe that is the reason? Maybe that is why it ever so quickly turns and all we are faced with are dark and hateful stares, painful expressions and horrible emotions?

But at some point it has to stop. At some point we have to stop because all the screaming, the blame, the misunderstanding and the hatred will only bring us back to where it all started.
Human nature doesn't matter because human nature is so much more than just power, obsession, hatred, revenge and blame.

Some people do. Some people never forget but they move on. That is perhaps a horrible or insensitive thing to say but they do.
Most of the time we are not talking about monsters without a heart, we are talking about people and leaders. They say that an employee performing badly is most of the time a reflection of a poor leadership, could that not be applied to a country? It's just a question.
Some people are taught one way and then they choose differently, they feel differently, they take a step back and reflect in what is happening and breathe.
What do I want? How do I feel? Do I want to stand for this? What if it were me?

Human nature... It goes both ways. It doesn't always have to mean that you should react one way or the other. Just take a step back and think; do I want to stand for this? Do I want this much hatred and revenge to course through me? Do I want someone else to suffer? What would happen if I took a different turn? A step in another direction.

All it takes is one moment of horror and you could either way, but who do you want to be?

//Em

Dream on

It just goes to show that when you have a dream you have to fully go for it no matter the costs without a thought to what might happen and believe that you can create greatness.

I believe in this dream and it has made me proud!

Love,

Em

Photo: ©Carina Hedlund

Nothing else compares

I have found that there is a sole moment in time where I am completely at peace. You would think that it would be on stage... Close. There is a moment when you get off stage, when you have given in to all those feelings you want to portray and are completely exhausted. That moment when you take that first breath and think; "I nailed it." and look around the room to see all these faces smiling at you, knowing that what you just did there is exactly what you were made to do.

Life in itself causes so many distractions, so many roads and hiccups to chose from or get tossed into and it is so hard to find a way were you feel completely right.
There are so many things you have to do before you get to that moment, if you ever get to that moment.
"But I already know what I want to do. I have known this all along." Well it doesn't work that way, does it?

Music makes me tick, it makes me burn and vibrate and it allows me to feel all these things I have to feel, all these things I want to feel. It provides a safety that is unbeatable. It is my way to speak.
This is why so much of my time is put into the lyrics, they have to fit and make me feel something so that when I record it (live, at home, in a studio) I can feel that emotion I originally put into that song. The lyrics however, doesn't always have to make much sense. I can sit down and play something and the words come flying out and build a beautiful sentence although weird it somehow causes a reaction and people seem to understand where I am heading with it. It's funny that way.
May it be happiness, sadness, anger, love or a sense of respect they all have to make me feel.

I am a perfectionist, not at all in life, everything around me can be messy, but in music I am a perfectionist at heart. It's both good and bad, I can put a song away for several months or years because it doesn't make me tick, it doesn't cause me to feel and later just play it once and find what was wrong, make it better. I can't release or perform something I'm not proud of just because I have to. If I am not sure of the song I'll skip it in a heartbeat.

I may sound pretentious but it's true.

The thing I am trying to say is that no matter what artist or band or song as long as it makes me feel something I can indulge myself in that song for hours.

Love,
Em

Peace

There is a story out about a nominee for the Nobel Peace Prize.

In my mind if you are to, in any way, not only strip people (let alone your own people) of their rights to be who they are, but also persecute them you are not in any way working for a world of peace.

I believe that peace equals freedom and acceptance. Freedom to be who you are, love who you want and believe what you want without anyone else telling you that you are less of a being.

As long as what you do is not hurtful to anyone else you deserve to have the fundamental right to support and acceptance of who you are.

Everyone has a past, everyone has done something they are not proud of and yet to pride yourself in being a leader of a country that dictates whether or not you are worthy of the same rights as anyone else depending on who you love...
That is exactly like priding yourself in being a leader of a country that dictates whether or not you have the right to live depending on what color your skin is or what beliefs you have.

It is also a direct violation of the human rights.

A person that can't see beyond their own hatred and loathing to find an understanding and acceptance shall never be my advocate for peace, no matter the actions they may have taken in other situations.

Until there are hard, cold facts that people of a certain sex, a different sexuality, origin, skin color or religion are ALL in their own "category" somehow going to end the world (as some people actually say they will) by existing, or are hurtful to others in a way that is damaging I will continue to believe that whatever heinous acts are committed around the globe are actually committed by individuals.
A person, one person, with a story that chooses to commit such a horrible thing.
NOT a sexuality, a skin color, a religion nor a gender.

And as we look upon it differently...
A person chose to enslave others, several people did, a person chose to persecute jews and a person chose to ban "homosexual propaganda" and decided that being LGBT makes you unfit to parent a child. A person chose to decide that being LGBT makes you so much less of a being that you have to die.

Tell me now, which one of these ideas do you prefer and how much of our time should we spend on blaming everyone else for our own mistakes, hatred, nonacceptance and mistrust?

I do not want to believe in hatred, I do not want to practice it, I want it erased. It can't be done, I know that, and I sometimes feel myself so consumed by this mistrust that I am angry with myself for letting people get to me. I can't stay quiet and that is my burden, my flaw.

It does not matter how old you are in your decision making, it matters how smart you are, how openminded and accepting you are. In order to build a functioning society and world that doesn't feel the need to claim others in their own misguided hatred.
I could never want a person dead simply for being who they are when who they are has done nothing wrong, nothing to deserve other people's hatred and cruelty.

And with that in mind I have found that the people we really should learn from are children. They just don't care.

Believe that you are strong enough to be who you are and I will be right there beside you, fighting for what is rightfully yours.

Studio

So I am now finished with phase 1 of my recording along with Mats Lindfors. 

The songs sound better than I could have imagined and the flow throughout it all is perfect!

We tried a little different way of recording this time, which was greatly appreciated!

I'm excited to hear the first recordings and also to head back into the studio in three weeks to finish.

I am also planning to put up a video of some of the clips from this weekend on my youtube channel EmmaLarsenOfficial, you are welcome to check it out and I will be letting you know as soon as it's up!

Fabian on the photo below at the end of day three!

Love,

Em