Almost there

I believe it was Harriet Martineau (I have it scribbled down in one of my books) who said that "we do not believe in immortality because we can prove it, but we try to prove it because we cannot help believing it."

To the last breath I will believe it, I think. That is just who I am no matter how much I try to change it.

It's almost gametime and I'm on a bus and on my way home to get ready.

These moments of silence and focus are probably the worst and the best moments every time. It's like I can hear my heart beat and my headphones are in but there's no music.

The distant chatter in the background makes for a perfect setting for me and my thoughts.

I am all I am and what I choose to do with that makes all the difference.

Some people damn their nerves in moments like these, I welcome them. Should I ever become overconfident in what I do then I shall resign because I have failed my purpose, my heart and my passion. It will no longer be worth it.

It's almost October and summer ended abruptly somehow, or maybe I wasn't really aware it was coming to an end. I should have, it's September.

The heart beats faster and faster and my mind starts spinning. The last few nights I've barely slept as I imagine the night play by play.

What will I say?

How do I act?

How will we do?

And I know that as soon I get there the excitement will overcome any kind of fear as I know and feel that in a few short hours I will stand there, once again, and be able to do what I utterly, tirelessly, undyingly love. And I am complete.

This is how I cope, this is how I live and breathe, this is how I love.

//Em